friendsss..

today i went to pasar malam i saw Catherine, Caferine, Lim and "Hui Voon". when i saw them my heart feel not nice, i though they dun wan to come pasar malam so i just go with my "gor". when i wish to out with them, they will reject me coz they busy with assignment or dun feel like going out, but when they want to "yok" me I'm the one who busy.. recently.. no is very long time d... i didn't out with them, and that we talk less to each other, seldom tell our own life things to each other. dunno why i will feel not nice when they go pasar malam and didn't ask me along.. last time our relationship so good but now is only hi bye friend.. maybe i take them seriously.. really think they are my close friends that can talk secret to each other like last time..

I'm wondering whether my communication got problem o not.. why other peoples can communicate well with each other but me, i only can communicate with people in a short period?? i wish to be like others, can talk joke, can tease each other.. actually what is my problem?? is it i scare of other peoples will mad at me if i say something wrong? or i actually is not that type of person so i can't mix with those peoples??

after pasar malam, gor went to my house to read articles for the MA assignment.. but something happen between us and make the environment inside the room is quite.. gor trying to "tam" me.. but i just mad at him with his childish attitude.. after awhile I don't angry at him and try to talk to him but then after answering what i ask him he tell me he wanted to go back home.. my feeling is like angry, disappointed, sad.. why he just leave when she not tam me back? he just dun understand me.. he think he leave i will feel better but actually it is not..

sometimes he understand me well but sometimes he don't..sometimes he is too care of my feeling and then make more trouble occur.. when i tell something serious tat is a joke he didn't take it as a joke only, but when i tell something that is joke but say it in a serious way he take it seriously.